this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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