I think my vagina is haunted
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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