can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
All the doctor said was why
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
