and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
