Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
