Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
