I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
