so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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