I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize