this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize