Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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