pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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