I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
