i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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