Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
