Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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