I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize