Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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