If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
