Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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