I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize