you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
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