Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
