just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
