If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
