dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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