If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
did you just send me my own nude
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
