Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Your dad touched me again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
