Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
