in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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