is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
