So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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