Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
