she was so not down for the gang bang
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
