I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I touched a dick in church today
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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