My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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