so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize