Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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