My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
