I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
