i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
