I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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