I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
