God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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