im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
