once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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