Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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