I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
