remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize