yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
