YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
