I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
