They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
