how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize