Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
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