Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
