sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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